


One Fucked up Session

by kii_babe (orphan_account)



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series), Homestuck
Genre: (but im not so please tell me if his texts dont reflect dyslexic ones well and how 2 fix it jfsdk), David is in here but he is banned on sight, Preston is dyslexic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 18:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14920248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/kii_babe
Summary: Some universes are purely chaotic, not meant to be seen, but here we are anyways.Max opens a memo to talk shit about some poor decision-making.





	One Fucked up Session

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't originally supposed to be anything I was going to post, just me seeing how I liked writing pesterlogs, but I let it run away with me and now I feel it's only fair to put it somewhere.
> 
> Based off of the Campstuck AU by me, checkerboardtom.
> 
> The formatting sometimes fucks up and cuts the end of this log clean off, so sorry in advance if that happens.

\-- jadedAluminum [JA] opened a memo --  
  


JA: quick question  
JA: which one of you fuckers prototyped your sprite with this spacey shit  
JA: i can't do fuckall to these imps

\-- thanatoidFormaldehyde [TF] joined the memo --  
  


TF: Take a wild guess.  
JA: oh of course i know who it was  
JA: i just want the little chrome-domed shit to come forth  
JA: and maybe explain why the hell he thought that'd be a good idea  
  


\-- littleDipper [LD] joined the memo --  
  
LD: whats wrong with my sprite?  
JA: oh, i'll tell you what's wrong with your sprite  
JA: YOU MADE IT THE EMBODIMENT OF THE UNIVERSE  
JA: HOW THE HELL DO YOU EVEN DO THAT  
JA: WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST PROTOTYPE? A MODEL OF THE DAMN SOLAR SYSTEM?  
LD: it was a galaxy poster! :D  
JA: of fucking course it was  
JA: thanks to that, shit-for-brains, all your imps are nary impossible to get any damage on  
LD: sorry max!  
LD: i can beat them pretty easily though heh.  
TF: Only because you've got your sprite to assist you.  
  
\-- unemployedAnxiety [UA] joined the memo --  
  
UA: max, you can't just make memos to call somebody out like this.  
JA: fuck you i can't, gwen  
JA: space kid has officially made a twelfth of our imps IMPOSSIBLE  
JA: i'll call him out all i fucking want  
JA: somebody back me up on this, come on  
JA: nik?  
  
\-- boyishAdventure [BA] joined the memo --  
  
BA: I DON'T HAVE AN OPINION!  
BA: I USUALLY JUST RUN AWAY FROM THOSE IMPS, IT REALLY ISN'T MUCH OF A PROBLEM FOR ME.  
TF: Nikki, turn off caps lock.  
BA: NEVERRRR!!  
BA: ANYWAYS, YEAH, MAX-- YOU'RE BEING KIND OF A PISSBABY.  
LD: hahaha!  
JA: shut up, space kid  
LD: okay. c:  
  
\-- littleDipper [LD] has stopped responding to the memo --  
  
BA: WOW, YOU'RE BEING EVEN MORE OF A PISSBABY OVER THIS THAN I THOUGHT!!  
JA: FUCK you too, then  
  
\-- jadedAluminum [JA] has banned boyishAdventure [BA] from responding to the memo --  
  
UA: nice one.  
JA: YEAH?  
JA: YOU CAN JOIN HER  
  
\-- jadedAluminum [JA] has banned unemployedAnxiety [UA] from responding to the memo --  
  
JA: jesus  
JA: thought counselors and friends were supposed to be supportive  
TF: Or maybe you just can't handle opposition?  
JA: fuck opposition  
JA: it's my memo, my rules, i can ban anyone i want  
JA: anyways  
JA: someone who will actually back me up, come back me up  
  
\-- genuineEnvironment [GE] has joined the memo --  
  
\-- jadedAluminum [JA] has banned genuineEnvironment [GE] from responding to the memo --  
  
JA: not you  
  
\-- reputableIvory [RI] has joined the memo --  
  
RI: I think maybe they're not as much of a problem as you make them seem.  
RI: But they are pesky.  
RI: My land crawls with them because I avoid them so much.  
JA: which is why avoiding them is a bullshit tactic  
RI: What else are we to do?  
  


\-- cognizantSatire [CS] has joined the memo --  
  
CS: just beat the shit out of everything  
CS: until youre strong enough to beat the shit out of the space imps  
CS: dont let them get to you  
CS: the first step down a bad path is letting stress take over everything  
JA: that is extremely flawed and also not useful at all  
JA: and weirdly preachy  
JA: please pick what kind of person youre trying to be, jesus  
  


\-- jadedAluminum [JA] has banned cognizantSatire [CS] from responding to the memo --  
  
JA: ANYWAYS  
JA: i can't beat the shit out of everything because these things are everywhere  
JA: that's my problem, i don't know what else there is to do  
RI: Ohhh, is that why you are needlessly targeting our Freunde instead of making yourself useful?  
JA: thin fucking ice, dolph  
TF: Jesus, Max. Don't go totalitarian on us.  
JA: i'll get as totali-fucking-tarian as i want to  
RI: I've got an idea.  
RI: What if we herded them together and--  
TF: Gonna stop you. Right there.  
TF: No.  
JA: why is neil the only sane person worth agreeing with so far  
JA: no beating the shit out of everything, no avoiding it all  
JA: no pseudo concentration camps  
JA: christ  
  


\-- jadedAluminum [JA] has banned reputableivory [RI] from responding to the memo --  
  


\-- coquettishWinter [CW] has joined the memo --  
  
CW: The ipms gvie me qutie a lot of truoble too. There's too mnay to avoid, at tihs point.  
JA: you wanna maybe try that one again  
CW: Is it taht bda?  
JA: yes  
JA: i don't have time to sit here and decipher your dyslexic texts  
  


\-- tabletopReject [TR] has joined the memo --  
  


\-- voidedFlourish [VF] has joined the memo --  
  
TR: i can translate!  
VF: I'm pretty sure I could help translate him  
TF: Jesus fucking Lord.  
TR: :/  
TR: preston and i text a lot so i have him down! all the way down to alignment B)  
VF: Well I help him compose texts so I know the ways he misspells things  
CW: Gsyu.  
JA: somebody fucking stop these two before i ban everyone in this memo and then myself  
TR: well *you* dont have an intelligence modifier of 6, do you?  
VF: I dont need modifiers  
VF: Ive got magic  
CW: Gusy.  
TR: your magic is stupid dumb.  
VF: At least I cant run out of mana  
CW: GUYS  
TR: O<O  
VF: What  
CW: I'm fien.  
CW: -- Fine.  
JA: yeah, uh, by the time you two nerds got done with your weird sexually tense argument over who gets to suck preston's dick later or whatever  
JA: i figured what he was trying to say  
JA: so thanks for nothing  
TR: >//n//<  
TR: i guess that works?  
VF: Oh  
VF: Well  
VF: How about we never phrase it like that again  
CW: Argeed.  
CW: Agreed.  
CW: But--  
CW: I c'nat alayws hvae a tralsnator. Evelautnly, yuo'll hvae to learn how to raed my tetxs, Max.  
JA: what  
TR: he can't always have a translator. eventually, you'll have to learn to read his texts, max!  
VF: "I can't always have a translator. Eventually, you'll have to learn to read my texts, Max!"  
VF: He doesnt type like you do  
TR: paraphrase.  
JA: don't care shut up go have a duel somewhere else  
  


\-- jadedAluminum [JA] has banned tabletopReject [TR] from responding to the memo --  
  
VF: HA  
TF: Don't be a cocky bastard, you're probably next.  
  


\-- jadedAluminum [JA] has banned voidedFlourish [VF] from responding to the memo --  
  
TF: Exactly.  
CW: Was that euongh backap for yuo?  
JA: hey wow, this one is actually kinda doable  
JA: sure yeah thanks preston  
CW: Anmitye.  
CW: Amytine.  
JA: don't hurt yourself  
CW: Fcuk off. :')  
  


\-- coquetishWinter [CW] has stopped responding to the memo --  
  


\-- electroHelmethead [EH] has joined the memo --  
  
EH: hey  
EH: itd be cool if you didnt blow my phone up like this  
EH: trying to play  
JA: how even can you with all these imps around  
EH: you mean the galaxy imps right  
JA: yeah, what else  
EH: space kid is helping me  
JA: i'm sorry, what  
EH: we can travel between lands  
EH: he and his rad space sprite are helping out B)  
JA: WHAT  
  


\-- littleDipper [LD] joined the memo --  
  
LD: id help you too but i dont think our lands are near enough yet!  
JA: nobody asked  
EH: ,,,  
EH: as much as id like to stick around for the rest of your temper tantrum  
EH: me and sk are kind of in the middle of something  
JA: nobody. asked.  
LD: seeya max!!  
JA: here let me help you with that  
  


\-- jadedAluminum [JA] has banned littleDipper [LD] from responding to the memo --  
  


\-- jadedAluminum [JA] has banned electroHelmethead [EH] from responding to the memo --  
  
JA: where was i  
JA: oh yes  
JA: space kid is fucking stupid  
JA: and if he dooms this session i am going to gouge my eyes out with a spoon  
TF: Well, Max. You've banned nearly everyone from this memo.  
TF: Good job.  
JA: yeah, only because you and preston were the only two with brains enough to agree with my rational complaints  
TF: When did I ever agree?  
TF: All I said was to take a wild guess.  
JA: yeah but  
JA: you agree don't you  
TF: Eh.  
TF: Neutral.  
TF: I haven't strifed yet.  
TF: Just gonna get you guys to wire grist to me instead.  
JA: that's shady as hell  
JA: i fucking love it  
TF: I try.  
JA: god this memo is hot garbage  
JA: time to burn it to the ground  
TF: Aw, I wanted your little fit to be immortalized.  
JA: HELL no.  
JA: remember how earlier i said something about banning everyone in the memo and then myself?  
TF: Yeah?  
JA: welp  
  


\-- jadedAluminum [JA] has banned coquetishWinter [CW] from responding to the memo --  
  


TF: Rest In Peace.  
  


\-- jadedAluminum [JA] has banned thanatoidFormaldehyde [TF]  from responding to the memo --  
  


JA: rest in piss  
  


\-- jadedAluminum [JA]  has banned himself from responding to the memo -- 


End file.
